Drew's English Blog

EP Cycling

2011-11-14T08:39:00.000-08:00

Check out SigEp Cycling's new home!

EPCycling

The Gorgeous New Automobile

2009-09-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

Although its not a sexy Italian or a sophisticated German, it has that undefinable, quintessentially British character. Welcome to none other than the 1978 Triumph Spitfire.

Come check it out at CarDomain!

Final Portfolio Published and READY TO GO!

2009-05-05T22:28:00.000-07:00

and HERE IT IS!

Weebly!

2009-04-28T11:01:00.000-07:00

My Weebly website is up for the multi-modal essay!
The topic is hooliganism, and it is quite interesting...
If you haven't already, I recommend you go to the nearest video store and rent Green Street Hooligans right now.

HOOLIGANS!

Annotated Blogroll

2009-04-23T13:06:00.000-07:00

FAIL Blog: Pictures and Videos of Owned, Pwnd and Fail Moments

FailBlog is a great blog listing contributions from many users across the internet detailing the failures of their fellow human beings. Although some entries are mean-spirited, the majority are poking fun at simple mistakes in life, whether it is a dumb kid attempting a slam dunk off of a trampoline or a sign that says “All employees must wash genitals before returning to work,” they are generally funny comments that point out incongruities in everyday life. Besides, the mean-spirited ones are pretty funny too. It is hard to resist laughing when the oblivious overweight cashier walks straight into a trap door opening to a basement, immediately disappearing into the abyss. All-in-all, FailBlog is a great way to blow off some steam and make you feel better about your own life. I have laughed at some of these failures more than I laugh at most anything, including my desperate attempts at humor in my own blog.

F*** my life: Your everyday life stories

If FailBlog is an easy way to make you feel better about yourself, then F My Life is the equivalent of hardcore prescription anti-depressant meds you get from your psychiatrist just before he resorts to the Ludovico technique. This is another general blog with input from many users on subjects ranging from the related “work” and money” to the polar opposites “love” and “sex”. The sometimes disturbing entries surprise with the sheer futility of the lives of some people, whether the person is actually that helpless, or if they are even more helpless because they feel the need to create fiction about how bad their lives are to make themselves feel better. Although the truthfulness of some entries is questionable at best, most are humorous enough to let their lack of honesty slide. As long as one has relatively low standards for acknowledging defeat, the stories on this website are all easy to accept as gospel; but if that’s the case then the individual relying on these stories to make it through the day might soon become an unfortunate regular contributor to this blog.

FrattingHard.com Fratty, Fratty, Fratty

A departure from the previous two blogs, FrattingHard.com is a blog dedicated to the epitomized life of a Fratdaddy or Sorostitute. The fratmosphere of the blog creates a feel of exclusiveness that can only be paralleled by mommy’s love and daddy’s Porsche. One of the finer additions to help the blog reader with new vocabulary is the dictionary included: defining anything from frat water to frat castle. As an out-of-context example, maintaining a large supply of frat water at the frat castle is essential for keeping around sufficient numbers of sorostitutes and not turning the fratmosphere into a douchebagoshpere. Although this is a mostly serious website for supporting the fraternity lifestyle, it stops now and then to poke fun at the finer points of the same lifestyle in the driest manner possible. When looking through comments on the blog entry though, I have found a startling trend amongst the posters: most do not fit in the category of fratdaddy, but rather seem more inclined to go about creating a global douchebagoshpere across the internet.

AutoSpeed.com Performance Car Magazine

This is the only legitimate, purposeful blog that I was able to buck up and review. The only reason I am stooping to such a level is my intense obsession with cars, ever since the day I started doodling them with crayons and markers up until the day I stopped drawing guns on all of the cars I designed (that was yesterday). This can be a very dry read sometimes, but I have learned more about specific systems in automobiles today here than anywhere else on the internet. As a bonus, if I ever am having trouble sleeping, I can cuddle up with a blanket and an entry or three from Autospeed and I’ll be out like an improvised L.E.D. brake light in no time. Truly, this is an amazing blog, which is rightfully titled an online magazine because of the great editing and writing that goes into each post.

I Hate Horses.

The least legitimate of all the blogs I chose to review, I Hate Horses thrives on being the blog that hates horses the most in the entire world and more than anything else in the entire world. Some blog posts repeat trite, to-the-point phrases like “I hate horses” or “I love glue” hundreds upon hundreds of times. Other entries support horse-haters worldwide, nominating horse-haters of the week or notable historical figures in horse-hating. Of course there is also the occasional rant, focused on a horse’s dumb shoes or their tendency to defecate without discretion and even on their own bodies. Overall, I Hate Horses is a humorous blog that sometimes makes you wonder if the author is going a little too far or not. I would also recommend this blog to any real horse-hater because it undeniably provides vast amounts of information on how to improves one self’s horse-hating abilities.

My Blog and the Blogosphere

2009-04-21T12:05:00.000-07:00

For this blog, I have written rather freely about things that interest me. Like everyone else, I don’t like to write about things that I don’t like. Although there is no general category that one could place my varied blog posts into, I think that they all are characterized by some specific traits that connect them all together.

First, all of my blog entries reveal part of my own character: a mostly bitter, sarcastic, horrible person who can never be trusted in anything he says. Similarly, my blog posts also all show some type of ambition. Whether it is ambition to take a cross-country bus trip, get homework done during class, or find the true meaning behind childhood memories, ambition is always a common theme. It is not a coincidence that ambition and a bitter, sarcastic outlook on life are paired together as common themes throughout my blog. The two often mingle because of the stresses that ambition puts on one’s life and the life of those around him. This relationship is similar to the relation between this blog and the blogosphere.

While my blog is an absolutely meaningless piece of rant-inspired journalism, similar to the overwhelming majority of blogs encountered in the blogosphere, it provides a link from one place on the internet to another. This means that if some poor, demented soul is searching for an appeal to Canadian radio legislature, they might find my blog as a, albeit mostly useless, starting point for their research. That is the true purpose for my blog and the real reason that I strive to create meaningful input for the blogosphere as a community: the hope that someone will one day be helped by my thoughts and concerns about life in the world today. And the children… I do it for the children too.

I think the most important thing that the blogosphere can take from my blog is the acknowledgment that, like most blogs, mine is completely insignificant and useful in only restricted circumstances. Therein resides the power of the blogosphere. The blogosphere has the ability to connect insignificant blogs with worthless bloggers all across the world so that some meaningless pieces of information can be passed from one half-empty glass of knowledge to another, all in the hope that some minuscule amount of progress might be made through this futile struggle.

I plan to continue my blog for my entire life and the entirety of the world, and maybe even until the internet keels over and dies. This plan will be carried out by writing in my blog periodically until the day that I die, when I will pass the blog onto my first-born son so he can carry out the prestigious tradition of spreading the Coelho legacy all over the entire World Wide Web. I can only hope that when I am dead and gone that a starving, suffering child in a third world nation will log on to his computer and discover the true meaning of the blogosphere. I don’t see any way that this would help that poor soul, but that just ain’t what my blog do.

Summertime, summertime...

2009-04-16T10:56:00.000-07:00

With the weather finally starting to warm up and the birds and squirrels coming out of there winter hiding, I can't help but write my latest blog post on it.

The spring air is getting even warmer, and that makes my even happier. Since I don't live in Hawaii, thanks to my dad, President Reagan, and some faulty Chinese zippers, I have to persist with life under one hundred degrees.

I never appreciated the beauty of the Midwest during this time of year. However, with my age and wisdom, I am starting to come to love the serene aesthetics of the green summer town a grew up in.

I can't help imagining the feeling of getting in that 1973 Italian sports car (that I don't have yet), taking the top down, and going for a drive down the open country roads with no plans or ideas.

I think I need to stop now before I run screaming out of this basement classroom and make a break for the beautiful Midwestern weather

Why Older is Better... at least with cars

2009-04-09T15:21:00.000-07:00

I thought I would mix it up a little with this week's blog post. Instead of doing some boring, in-depth psychoanalysis, I decided to talk about one of my passions: cars.

I recently found an advertisement for a 1973 Fiat which reminded me of how much more I appreciate the personality and nostalgia of older cars in comparison to the generally soul-less pieces of machinery produced today.

Old automobiles have an indescribable set of qualities that set them apart from newer ones. Firstly, part of the charm of an automobile meant for enjoyment is the unpredictability and spontaneity of operation. When a car is simply expected to start every time the owner requires, not requiring any attention or motivation, it simply becomes a tool for transportation. However, when a car needs to be appreciated and cared for before it blesses you with the magic of its internal combustion, it becomes something more.

Simply put, cars today do not have the same attention put into them as the greats from yesteryear. Although the quantitative performance of an old Fiat Sport Spider is nothing, say a Hyundai, would be proud of today, there is no match for the enjoyment of a hand-built Italian stallion storming down the open road with the top down with no idea of what is to come.

The Nightmare Before Christmas... as viewed by Freud

2009-04-02T14:03:00.000-07:00

When I was a child, my favorite movie was The Nightmare Before Christmas. I've recently been studying Freudianism in another class and decided to link the two up for this weeks blog post.

In Tim Burton’s The Nightmare before Christmas, aspects of Freudianism are displayed through three distinct mediums. Primarily, one can analyze the subtleties of reactions from the characters in the story. Also, there are multiple events of subconscious foreshadowing throughout the movie. Lastly, one can analyze the creator, Tim Burton, through his subconscious use and placement of symbols.

Accordingly, the analysis can proceed with the examination of the particularly main character. Jack Skellington, the hero of the story, comes to a realization that he is simply going through the motions in his life, not enjoying the once exciting, but now monotonous life of continuous Halloween. This shows lament for anything, no matter how exciting, if done repeatedly to the point of monotony. When Jack accidentally comes across something new, Christmas, a polar opposite of Halloween, he becomes obsessed with the idea of something new, especially Santa Claus. This obsession shows Jack’s curiosity complex in full swing, allowing him to love something simply because it is new to him. Although, Jack still remains subconsciously faithful to his heritage with Halloween, putting scary toys and monsters inside presents for children. This shows a true connection between Jack and Halloween; and foreshadows a return to Halloween, whereas Christmas remains a fleeting interest of his.

Through foreshadowing, one can not only predict what the future might hold, but, assuming the characters have the same, non-psychic mind capabilities as humans, one can gather valuable insight on what a character believes subconsciously. For example, Sally, an admirer of Jack, sees an image of Christmas being destroyed directly after hearing Jack express his interest to take over Christmas that year. This does not display psychic ability, but rather a deeply seated thought from Sally’s subconscious, showing her true beliefs about Jack and Christmas, rather than let her conscious admiration of Jack himself distort her view.

Finally, the writer, Tim Burton, can be analyzed through his work and the symbols it contains. The story is one of boredom from monotony, altered by the perception that life will be better in another place. This shows that Burton probably had problems of his own regarding fitting into the mold of society he lived in. However, the story twists into a tale of true passion, for when once Jack returns from Christmas Town for the last time, he realizes he would not rather live anywhere else than his home of Halloween Town. This displays affection for roots within Burton’s psyche, corralling him into his characteristic quirky style of writing.

In watching The Nightmare before Christmas, one can pick out three important aspects of Freudianism to better interpret the story. The first is to simply pay attention to the subtleties in characters’ actions. Furthermore, foreshadowing can be used to determine important facts about characters’ unadulterated subconscious psyches. Finally, as a story is ultimately a reflection of its author, an analysis of him can provide missing clues about his intentions with the story and his other works.

The Wal-Mart

2009-03-26T19:51:00.000-07:00

I recently saw an old journalism piece on Wal-Mart the other day. Such a blatantly biased news story can hardly be taken seriously as a piece of investigative journalism. The audience should be left to judge for themselves whether Wal-Mart is too big for the United States’ or global economies instead of being led to conclusions by targeted negative constructions and choice of musical composition. However, after watching this reverse-infomercial for the second time, I still believe Wal-Mart is a responsible corporation and I still disagree with the story’s ridiculous bias and attack on capitalism itself.

Many complaints about Wal-Mart rise from concerns about associates’ wages and benefits. Although most consumers applaud Wal-Mart for cutting costs to provide a good product at low cost, many end their support of such a system when the workforce is streamlined for efficiency. Not entering any illogical realm of corporate responsibility and altruism, the workforce is simply another factor that determines the supply cost and in turn the end cost for the consumer. If workers in any industry demand higher prices through unions or other means and there is qualified labor overseas willing to work for less, then any responsible capitalist corporation should choose to delegate labor overseas. Their responsibility to the market is to provide for the consumer at the best value possible. However, when associates of the company do not abide by such rules, they drive labor overseas, increase the price of commodities, and therefore increase the cost of living, making it harder for low-income consumers like themselves to subside on an equivalent income.

When Wal-Mart was blamed for giving workers low wages and poor benefits, the program went on to explain that Wal-Mart is still the best example of capitalism today. After bashing Wal-Mart with what must only loosely be called a piece of journalism, CNBC went on to relate Wal-Mart directly to capitalism, attacking capitalism as a whole. My support of Wal-Mart relies on support of capitalism, which is one of the easiest ideologies to defend. Capitalism maintains low prices for consumers through efficient trade and competition. Any complaint of extreme low incomes because of capitalism is unfounded because of the extreme low prices of commodities provided by it, making contributing members of society able to afford a living.

This news piece on Wal-Mart is not only poorly and unfairly presented, but even the simple ideals behind its bias are completely skewed. Not only is this program an attack on Wal-Mart, but it is an attack on capitalism and American society as a whole. Although I did not mind watching this video once more for comedic value, I am simply disgusted by such infantile and unfounded attacks on American capitalism. Frankly, I will not stand to hear David Faber bash the United States of America. Wal-Mart is a corporation founded on providing necessary goods to the consumer for the most competitive prices. The least we as a society can do is to support such a system and not force originally domestic labor overseas, raising prices and hurting the American workforce. Wal-Mart has held up its end of the deal, if we want to thrive on the success of Wal-Mart and capitalism as a whole, all that American society has to do is continue to participate and realize the significance and benefits of Wal-Mart.

You gotta fight...

2009-03-23T15:11:00.000-07:00

Many things in life I can take or leave, but one idea that is precious to me, one for which I am willing to fight, is the right to party. The right to party is an essential outlet for ones emotions. If denied this right, people become pent up and will either show their deep frustration with the fatigues of their self-induced all work-no play mentality immediately, or they will eventually lose the mental capacity to contain their frustrations and let loose their furious, no longer controllable, wishing-it-had-been-partying-all-these-years, soul, which can only lead to trouble. Further down the road, the unleashing of this would-be-partygoer’s distressed inner being can cause multitudes of seemingly unforeseeable consequences like intentional disassociation with society, suicide attempts, and even interest in musical groups like Journey and U2. Needless to say, there cannot possibly be any ends to justify the means, or for that matter, means to justify the ends, of allowing society to party.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. This combination has also been scientifically proven to create a chemical imbalance in Jack’s delicate nervous system. If this hypothetical Jack were forced into an all work-no play situation, as per stripped of his right to party, the following onslaught of mental impairment could result in such devastating, unjustifiable consequences as Jack harming himself, becoming an overall menace to society, and listening to the works of other mentally impaired persons, like Bono, and in a worst case scenario, even being influenced by those types of peoples. If there were some feasible argument attacking the right, our right to party, what would it be? Would it be the harm that comes from partying? It can’t be so. I can say to you with confidence, that no one has ever been killed by partying. Sure, people have died at parties, but what is stopping a lonesome, party-deprived hermit from binge drinking himself to death? Why can’t a misguided, faux-rock-star influenced adolescent break his neck after falling from his own second story balcony while dropping acid alone, thereby missing out in healthy social interaction with his peers? A truthful answer to either of these questions cannot be found anywhere. So I maintain my premise, concluding the right to party remains especially essential to society’s and a given individual’s well-being, and should be fought for, with all of our might.

Snuggies: Fashionable Fad or Cultish Copy-off?

2009-03-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

I recently saw a commercial that struck me first as just a little weird but as I watched more it frankly became scary. The commercial, which after all the profuse over-advertising I can be relatively sure that most of America is familiar with, is that advertising the Snuggie. This commercial does not advertise anything new and promotes a cultish desire to assimilate to the norm.

The purpose of a commercial is to introduce a new product or to improve the understanding or view of an existing product. The Snuggie is not a new product, as anyone has been able to put a robe on backwards since they were invented in the dark ages. But the Snuggie still needs some explanation to the public on why they should purchase one.

This is the chief flaw of the Snuggie commercial. The producers do not bother to explain why the Snuggie is necessary but simply describe the many uses of a robe. They say nothing about the uniqueness of their product, but rely on the average American consumer’s ignorance on the topic.

Overall, the Snuggie is a terrible, trite and over-advertised product with a vitally flawed advertising campaign. The sleeved-blanket is simply a robe put on backwards sold on television for ridiculous prices. I strongly suggest that everyone avoid buying the Snuggie – unless you are looking for a cult uniform.

How do I love you, Pandora Radio?

2009-02-26T12:42:00.000-08:00

Let me count the ways.

1. You let me listen to all the music I love whenever I want, including at the library and when my former laptop lover abandons me.

2. You allow me to explore new genres of music and styles that I might never have known otherwise.

3. Your love is not marketed and pimped out to the public like others', but free of charge.

4. You almost always know my mood, and if not I can shut you up and make you sing me something better.

5. Your love is like a red, red rose: unimaginably beautiful but guarded by a sharp set of -- actually no, no thorns.

Check out Pandora Radio!
(No, I am not getting paid to write this.)

"Terrorists: They're everywhere, and they hate our freedom"

2009-02-19T12:44:00.000-08:00

Someone showed me this video and I thought it was an interesting satire of not only anti-western terrorism, but also western ideals and consumerism. I think it takes a decent bit of guts to step in between two sides of an argument and call them both stupid to their faces. For that reason, I respect the people who created this hilarious satire.

Appeal To New Canadian Legislature

2009-02-12T18:12:00.000-08:00

I recently saw a law which must change to allow further progression in North American society. That is, of course, the one regarding Canadian radio stations which states that all Canadian radio stations must broadcast a minimum of 35% Canadian content. Canadian content is not only despicable, but this minimum of said content limits the already introverted society of Canada to simply extending their knowledge of and familiarity with Canadian culture while ignoring at least 35% of actually relevant world matters. Scholars maintain that if Canada continues to protect and foster this ridiculous piece of legislature, there will be an approximate 35% decline in Canadian radio listeners’ knowledge of pertinent global information.

Furthermore, by fascistically imposing a minimum on wholly Canadian content for all Canadian based radio-broadcast stations, the Canadian government is harboring an arrogance developed by ignorance amongst their people, which can only lead down the dreadful path to self-pity. This horrendous trail remains inevitable at the country’s current state when the realization of Canada’s insignificance develops within the increasingly self-righteous population of the country. One could only expect that this brutal contrast, once discovered by the 35% knowledge-deficient masses, could prompt nothing less than full-fledged civil war and guerrilla outbreaks in Canada.

Accordingly, Canada must immediately abolish this sanctimonious law, or incur the wrath of a crippling war against itself in the years to come. To save the presently doomed nation of Canada, they must release the shackles confining their radio industry. Or else, Canada will soon become paradise lost, or more appropriately, frozen northern hellhole lost, if the government does not take immediate radio liberation action.

Doing Homework In English Class

2009-02-05T11:24:00.000-08:00

While I'm supposed to be writing an example sentence, I thought I might as well get my blog for the week up. Although this is a similar post to the first, procrastination-focused blog post, It is unique because it is going to have a hyperlink in it now (one of my favorite websites)! Also, I learned what the little pointy symbols mean to separate html encoding from regular text. The Image I just uploaded is a picture of the frozen wasteland that Al Gore predicts we will live in after 2 more years because of global warming.

At the moment, I am waiting for further instructions and typing in the "Edit Html" section. I am simply ecstatic to learn more about this wondrous way of organizing a blog. And here it is! VIDEO:

Isn't that nice?
All in all, I think I learned a lot about composing a blog with different techniques in this class period.

Note to teacher: Good luck with the bake sale! I think I'm going to go get some chocolate... (hint, hint, grade, hint, hint)

Cross-Country School Bus Field Trip!

2009-01-29T13:30:00.000-08:00

Except for the “School” and Field” parts, that is the plan for the summer. The “School” part isn’t entirely false though, as my friends and I plan to purchase a bus previously owned by a school corporation or the government. Anyway, the plans hinge on commitment from those involved and keeping our fingers crossed that something we aren’t expecting doesn't come out of nowhere to bite us in the proverbial ass.

The whole reason for attempting this epic journey of five-thousand miles to the Pacific Ocean and back is to explore the country and, as lame as it sounds, ourselves. But if you can think of any better ideas for a bunch of poor students to have an incredible cross-country adventure, please feel free to let me know.

I’m not quite sure how this idea started, but if I remember correctly, it had a lot to do with finding a retired bus displaying Anderson, Indiana’s “Department of Erection” label on Craigslist for the low, low price of $1500. A project with a beginning like this seems to almost exude promise.

Although the plans are far from definite at the moment, you can be assured that you will be able to find any and all updates on this blog when they arise.

Making a Blog

2009-01-22T09:35:00.000-08:00

For my first blog entry, I had to think hard about what I would write. I had just had my birthday, but it turned out to be rather uneventful, accented only by calculus homework and some pick-up soccer. Today has not been much better in terms of interesting things to do, so I was troubled to pick a topic again. Finally, I decided that I should sit down and finally type the blog entry on what I had been doing best: procrastination.

I have never had a problem getting assignments turned in on time and most of my former teachers and professors have seen me as a responsible student. But, like many other students I know, I do my most focused work five minutes before class starts. I hypothesize that this is because I work well under pressure and actually enjoy the challenge of completing an assignment on time. What most anti-procrastination advocates probably do not understand is the delicate balance between the time needed to do an assignment well and the time the procrastinator gives himself to do the assignment. If there were time leftover, then the sensible procrastinator would allocate less time on a similar assignment later. An assignment should never be late if the rules of procrastination are followed because time should be trimmed off after a high estimate for optimal efficiency. Otherwise, an extra five minutes overdue could cause a consequence much worse than five minutes of extra time spent on an assignment.

So remember, legitimate procrastination is not a tool of the lazy, but rather a study tool for the prudent.